Warning: Poetry May Cause Bleeding of the Eyes

Poetry! I do occasionally write it, though it's hard to write anything good. Most people have had horrid experiences with poetry, mostly from teachers telling them they suck. Or saying that their interpretation is wrong... which I always found dumb. An interpretation is... well... an interpretation. So really there is no wrong answer unless it's clear that you're just bullshitting. Anyways, whatever the reason, I think poetry has a bad rap. (In fact, bad rap started out as bad poetry, but I digress). Some of it sucks, but some of it's pretty good. To me, a sucky poem is one that could be written by a 1st grader with ADD. Something along the lines of:

Scratching dogs

on my door

bring sparkles

into my cocoa puffs

at midnight

sleep.

Hmmm... yes. Not so much. Unfortunately, some of us write and write and work super hard on a piece of poetry-ness for hours and it ends up looking like we chose random words out of a dictionary and crammed them into some flimsy structure we try to pass off as prose. Which, actually, come to think of it, might be fun... Anyway, if you try and tell me that you hate all of it, that it's stupid and pointless (much like geometry or Aqua Teen Hunger Force), or that it's only written by overly sensitive metrosexuals who have mommy issues, then I would like to:

A) smack you and B) remind you that your favorite song lyrics are freaking poetry. So shush. On that note, like it or not, here's one I wrote:

Walk away and see

the years gone by so fast.

Not alone but without.

Love comes and goes

til one day a memory

returns, somehow.

How I remember, and

slightly not.

Still there, alive

still breathing somehow

living in me, around me

this memory

this ghost

strange to be here

after all these years

and nearly forgetting

what I want to remember.

I don't think it's so bad, but what do I know? Just for fun, what's your interpretation? Oh wait, don't bother. You're wrong anyways.

Karate Lesson #1: Try Not To Throw Up

Ok kids, it's time to learn! Since karate is a mystery to a lot of people, and I'm a woman of limited interest, I figure I should share. Today's word is: kata. Kata is a pre-arranged fight with an imaginary opponent. Oh my yes, we fight imaginary opponents sometimes. What... this sounds lame? This might sound useless to some because, really, shouldn't we be fighting real life people? How can one properly learn to maim if the opponent is in your mind?! Kata, my friends, is practice. By repetition your body learns how to move and how to act in certain situations. It's a way to stop hesitation. Or at least lesson it... because hesitating is usually how I roll.

When done properly kata looks like a dance. It's even more impressive looking when there's a huge group of people all doing it at once (all perfectly synchronized and on count... right sensei? :P). One movement should move fluidly into the next. Each kata consists of anywhere from 8 to 50 movements generally. In my art alone there are a dozens of katas. In my experience, over time they get mixed up in your brain and try to mash themselves into one giant super kata which goes on for days at a time, leaving you dry heaving and your sensei confused and horrified. But enough about me.

Some katas are performed with much screaming and vein-bulging. Not so much in my art. Generally, there's one yell (a kiai) somewhere in the kata and strong but not binding movements. This video is much how I learned; in a small group. This kata is called "Pinan Shodan" and is learned as a white or blue belt. Yes, it's younger kids, but you get the idea:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLFyzzVGX7M

Ah yes, be enlightened. Go now and reflect on what you have learned and eat some sushi, green tea ice cream and other asian-type delights. Be sure and tune in next time for more karate-ness you never wanted to know.