What? There's no Crying in Karate?!

I've only ever had one achievement in my life that made me cry. And I'm not talking about a couple of tears glistening on my cheek. I'm talking like, I had to turn around so everyone couldn't see me bawling like a freaking baby. It happened when I got my black belt. I'm not exactly an athletic person being as short as I am, so karate is the only "sport" that I've ever joined and not felt like a complete failure. I guess if you can't be good at a team sport, you can always enlist in beating people up. That I can do. Karate isn't just fighting for me though. In fact, I really would never want to get into a real fight. I don't want to hurt anyone. This statement would probably make most laugh because I'm so small, but the fact of the matter is that I really do know how to break bones. I just hope I never have to.

I wasn't ready to test for my black belt the night I got it. I'd told sensei time and time again that I didn't think I was at that level. I still felt like I was flailing around like a retarded monkey with a bo staff. But sensei, being the teacher that she is, disguised the test as a simple class exercise. Smart of her, really. I probably would have thrown up or ran out of the dojo the moment I got wind of a test. So when I got called up at the end of that particular class and she pulled a black belt out of her gi (like a freaking magician), my brain froze for a good five minutes when I shook everyone's hand and then I had to excuse myself so I could run to the parking lot and cry in my car. Some tough black belt. It was so unexpected and so awesome that there wasn't much else to do but cry. I was so proud of myself and wished that my family could have been there to see. Or even friends. Course then they'd have to watch the waterworks and I didn't need that. I still can't believe it even though it happened over a year ago. I just hope that when I get 2nd don someday, I won't have to run off the premesis like a sop.