Rage of the Road Variety

I never used to be an angry person. In fact, I don't really consider myself an angry person most of the time. But recently, I find myself wanting to stab people in the eye with a toothpick. Or perhaps many, many tiny needles. Can no one drive? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so. It all started with my recent Thursday commuting to Karate. It's not that far. An hour at most. That's unfortunately based on the assumption that traffic is, y'know, moving. Or it isn't raining. Or there isn't something shiny on the side of the road that everyone must slow down and look at. We live in Colorado people: land of insane blizzards and the occasional flash flood and you're going 30 on the interstate because it's sprinkling outside?! What is the problem? Why are there people who insist on being in the left lane when they're going the same speed as the slowest person on the interstate? Why? WHY?! All I wanna do is get to Karate before it's over at 10 and not get killed in the freaking process.

Now it's not just Thursdays. It's everyday. Yes, everyday I'm cut off by someone who then drives 10 miles below speed limit. Everyday I'm left white-knuckling the steering wheel because they just HAD to make that left-hand turn while I slam on my brakes to oblige their adrenaline rush or whatever the hell it was they were going for. They say more people die in car crashes than air planes every year. Yes, I believe that now.

I know that it could be worse... much worse. I've driven through Vegas. Los Angeles. Spring Hill Florida (don't laugh, you have NO idea). But seriously. This is madness. I'd rather be on the road surrounded by student drivers because at least they're trying to be careful. That's a lot more than I can say for the people I encounter just going to work everyday. I understand those with road rage now. Also, I have a paintball gun. Just throwing that out there next time anyone decides to cut me off, go slow and then flip me off when I pass them.