There was a work meeting today. There's always a freaking meeting. It actually wasn't that boring. I didn't want to stab my thigh with a fork just for something to do. Regardless of the lack of forking, my mind drifted off into the abyss anyway. I can't help it. If they're not talking about ninjas or breakfast burritoes, I'm just not the most attentive audience at 8 in the morning. I don't know what they expect when they don't provide food. Or at the very least coffee... or margaritas.
Anyways, here's a question. You ever sit in a meeting or other public gathering where everyone's polite and attentive and get this incredible urge to do something utterly stupid and ulitmately career-ending? Not because you hate your job or you even want to, but just because your body is sitting still for so long and wouldn't it be oh-so-fun? For example, I'm sitting there, looking at the speaker and drifting off (because I'm well trained and can look in your eyes, nod, and still be thinking of rollercoasters at the same time) and I stage an outburst in my mind. I get up on the table, pump my fist in the air, declair that I love fruity pebbles without milk and then calmly sit back down and fold my hands on the table. You know, something like that. Or y'know, taking your shoes off and putting your feet up on the table and having a nap... or excusing yourself and coming back several minutes later with an egg mcmuffin. Maybe quietly getting up, walking up to the speaker, taking off your gloves (because you can have gloves on in your mind dammit) and smacking them across the face with em. You ever wanna do any of that during a meeting?
It's kind of frightening when you realize just how easy it would be to end your job right then and there if you somehow lost that brain filtering ability. Just that split second of insane, cant-sit-still-anymore-ness and you've lost your job and probably a few of your work friends. Still, wouldn't it be fun to see their faces? Oh the gasps. The drama. These are the things that I think about during meetings. One of these days, just once, I'd like someone to just act on it. My day would get so much better and hey, I'd even pay better attention to meetings from then on. No burritoes or ninjas required.
Anyways, here's a question. You ever sit in a meeting or other public gathering where everyone's polite and attentive and get this incredible urge to do something utterly stupid and ulitmately career-ending? Not because you hate your job or you even want to, but just because your body is sitting still for so long and wouldn't it be oh-so-fun? For example, I'm sitting there, looking at the speaker and drifting off (because I'm well trained and can look in your eyes, nod, and still be thinking of rollercoasters at the same time) and I stage an outburst in my mind. I get up on the table, pump my fist in the air, declair that I love fruity pebbles without milk and then calmly sit back down and fold my hands on the table. You know, something like that. Or y'know, taking your shoes off and putting your feet up on the table and having a nap... or excusing yourself and coming back several minutes later with an egg mcmuffin. Maybe quietly getting up, walking up to the speaker, taking off your gloves (because you can have gloves on in your mind dammit) and smacking them across the face with em. You ever wanna do any of that during a meeting?
It's kind of frightening when you realize just how easy it would be to end your job right then and there if you somehow lost that brain filtering ability. Just that split second of insane, cant-sit-still-anymore-ness and you've lost your job and probably a few of your work friends. Still, wouldn't it be fun to see their faces? Oh the gasps. The drama. These are the things that I think about during meetings. One of these days, just once, I'd like someone to just act on it. My day would get so much better and hey, I'd even pay better attention to meetings from then on. No burritoes or ninjas required.
I'd still be your friend if you did any or all of those things, so don't worry ;)
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