Save the Concerts From the Jerks!

This weekend I decided to blow my eardrums out, have my insides liquified by sound waves and assault my nostrils with the B.O. of hundreds of people; many of whom were standing on my feet. I'm talking, of course, about a concert. I love concerts. Even though I can't really hear the lyrics because it's so damn loud or the acoustics suck *cough* fiddlers green *cough*. Even though I can't see most of the time unless everyone simultaneously sits down or I get a glimpse of the lead singer underneath someone's armpit. It's still fun. The energy is nuts and all the sudden I begin to feel like crowd surfing. I don't, mind you, I just feel like it. Or perhaps starting a riot. Because all that energy's gotta go somewhere. Which brings me to my next point.

Why, oh why, are there so many dumbass people that ruin everything? I have yet to go to a concert, sporting event, or other huge public gathering where I haven't been assaulted in some way. I've never been beat up, I'm talking about the nacho cheese down my jacket. Drunk guys falling from 2 rows up onto my head. Once I was at a hockey game and some guy threw his cup of tobacco spit and it hit me and my friends (yes, ew. really, really EWW!). Most of us can jump around and yell and have a freaking great time without punching anyone in the mouth. Or trampling some short person at a concert. It's not cool and it ruins everyone's time. No one wants nacho cheese in their hair! I really, really didn't come to a concert to get hit on by some sweaty, drunk, beligerant, shirtless guy! It would be nice, for once, to just be able to sing and head bang to my favorite band without getting shoved around by rude people. Stop being ass hats and let the rest of us have a good time.