But... Marty McFly Never Had To Do Algebra...

I've been told that the more you look back on the past, the more unhappy you are with the present. Perhaps that's why I not only look back on the past, I dwell. Don't get me wrong, I love most aspects of my life. Just not the one where I'm not the successful person I set out to be. I think, if I had a Delorean what would I do with it? Well for one, I'd go back in time and kidnap, I mean borrow, 20 something Michael J. Fox because really, what is time travel without him? Then I'd have to figure out what year to go back to so I could be all important-like and rolling in the dough. (Incidentally, I tried rolling in dough once, but my mom grounded me for a week and I spent 2 hours picking bisquick out of my hair).

In all honestly, a Delorian probably wouldn't do much good... I need to be able to start over, not have 2 of me running around in 1990 and face potential space/time continuum collapse. What I need is to be able to go to sleep one night and wake up the next morning, 5 years old again but with my 24 year old brain intact. Huh. This is sounding a lot like 13 Going on 30 in reverse isn't it? Meh.

So I'd be five again. A freaking genious in school. Hey I might even try to give that math thing another go round! I figure that if I was able to go back a second time and get an additional 12 years of math under my belt, it'll probably bring my competency level up to that of, oh... a 6th grader. At least! Oh man... imagine.

I'd drive my parents nuts with my mind-blowing intellegence. I'd tell my dad that smoking cigarettes is horrid and to cut that crap out. (No offense smokers. Well, actually... yes. Offense. Cut that crap out.) I'd attend college at 12 and be the world's youngest millionaire and buy a swimming pool for the sole purpose of filling it with strawberry Jell-o. Ah yes, It's all coming together now.

Really though, the more I think about it, the more I'm glad I don't have a random Delorian. I'd screw something else up in this alternate life. I wouldn't end up down the path I'm supposed to be on and I'd probably be so full of myself that no one would want to hang around me. (Even more than right now I mean)... And even though I'd a rich genious, I'd be miserable! Honestly, life's more fun when you're poor. You just have to be creative because you're too damn poor to go out. It might suck, but it builds character. These are the things I tell myself to feel better.

So in conclusion, Delorian's are pretty damn cool and so are hoverboards. Why hasn't that idea taken off? Where the hell is my Mattel hoverboard?!