Some wonderful strangeness has happened. It boggles the mind and disrupts the universe and resides on the ring finger of my left hand. It's not this ring that makes my brain smoke, it's more what it represents. It seems very strange to me that I'm engaged. That someone actually wants to be with me for the rest of my life baffles me. Sometimes, I don't even want to be with me for the rest of my life. I drive myself nuts.
Some people view marriage as slavery. Game over. Especially guys. But it really shouldn't be like that. Marriage should be a blessing. I know, that's a cliche, but it's true. It shouldn't be a burden to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. Sure, it won't always be rainbows and skittles. There'll be fights over dirty socks and money, but that won't happen all the time. Or it shouldn't.
It makes me sad when I see a couple who started out so happy and ended up miserable. I don't believe in divorce, but I do believe that people change. To have a happy marriage, you have to either adapt to the changes and love your spouse through it all, or it'll fail. That will never, ever apply to abuse cases as far as I'm concerned, but in a normal, non-abusive marriage, both parties should fight hard to stay together. I think that people get bored. That they feel they're missing out when they commit to one partner for the rest of their lives. But are you really missing out when you've found someone who'll love you no matter what? Even when you're at your lowest? Even when you're cranky or have crusty stuff in your eyes every morning???
Sometimes I'm scared about what the future has in store for my marriage. Will I end up as a divorce statistic? But then I think about God and what He's done for me already and I feel that everything is going to be OK. That no matter what, we'll get through whatever issues might arise and know how to work things out. So I don't see my engagement as a prison sentence. I see it as being set free from the bonds of loneliness for the rest of my life.
Some people view marriage as slavery. Game over. Especially guys. But it really shouldn't be like that. Marriage should be a blessing. I know, that's a cliche, but it's true. It shouldn't be a burden to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. Sure, it won't always be rainbows and skittles. There'll be fights over dirty socks and money, but that won't happen all the time. Or it shouldn't.
It makes me sad when I see a couple who started out so happy and ended up miserable. I don't believe in divorce, but I do believe that people change. To have a happy marriage, you have to either adapt to the changes and love your spouse through it all, or it'll fail. That will never, ever apply to abuse cases as far as I'm concerned, but in a normal, non-abusive marriage, both parties should fight hard to stay together. I think that people get bored. That they feel they're missing out when they commit to one partner for the rest of their lives. But are you really missing out when you've found someone who'll love you no matter what? Even when you're at your lowest? Even when you're cranky or have crusty stuff in your eyes every morning???
Sometimes I'm scared about what the future has in store for my marriage. Will I end up as a divorce statistic? But then I think about God and what He's done for me already and I feel that everything is going to be OK. That no matter what, we'll get through whatever issues might arise and know how to work things out. So I don't see my engagement as a prison sentence. I see it as being set free from the bonds of loneliness for the rest of my life.
interesting thoughts, mine are similar, except i wonder when i'm going to screw things up.
ReplyDeleteThe one time I felt like something was so right that marriage and an eternity of learning to love her bossy, messy cat... well, things didn't work out and they were over fast.
ReplyDeleteI often think I'll never love again, because the highs of shared affection and the sense of validation that comes from earning the affections of another probably are not worth the years of unvoiced self doubt and sense of defeat that bother me when I'm preparing to sleep these days. Sometimes things hurt so much they just stay put, no differrent than an axe might injure the body so too does rejection and defeat hurt the subvocal id.