Re-vamping

Well blog... it's been a year since I've ranted and raved and put anything on your pages.  This is quite sad.  So, what I've decided is to turn you mostly into a poetry blog.

I don't have much to say these days in words that aren't poetry.  Maybe I'll have an insight now and again, but that's why I keep a journal. 

So, brace yourself.  Poetry madness is coming. 

Poetry Madness

It's been a while blog. And by a while, I mean months. I'm sorry. Poor, poor neglected blog. Here, have some poetry.

Today looks like orange

and I like it that way.

With summer fading

and buttons in my pocket.

A sun-swelled brain

and the taste of you

on my lips.

And I'm all caught in light.

An orange, tangerine light.

I could sing.

Fly.

Burst into flames

and let the light take me.

This orange, tangerine light.

Doomed

I have some cynical-ness to share. I try to be somewhere blissfully in the middle of optimism and pessimism. I suppose that would be realism. So, from my realist point of view, I think I'll talk about the earth today. I see lots of books about pollution and living green and all that stuff and wonder to myself: are we screwed? If I, personally, do everything in my power to live green... recycle, compost, change my lightbulbs... does it make any impact? Really? I think the answer is no.

The amount of people it would take to make a global impact on pollution is in the billions. Even if all of China decided to start living green 100%, the amount of pollution from the rest of the world would remain staggering. I know that change starts with individuals. It's important to not be personally irresponsible. But I've got to wonder if we're just doomed in the end as far as the environment goes. We've done so much damage in a mere 200 years, and it just accelerates. Some countries are poor and the technology needed to clean everything up and reuse materials just isn't available.

It makes me so sad... so horribly sad when I learn about things like garbage dumped in the ocean. Daily. Or how some soil is irreversibly tainted and won't be able to sustain life again for thousands of years. If mankind lives long enough, what will the future look like? Are we going to be able to clean things up, or will the population be so out of control that it'll be a world like Wall-E? Buried in garbage on a sterile world. We'll either have to leave, or most of us will die.

This is completely grim and I understand that. But humans suck. I suppose it's in our nature to destroy... even if it means destroying our only home. I think from a religious stand point the earth will end. It needs to end. Especially if things continue to deteriorate. But it won't be THE end. God has a plan through all this mess we've created for ourselves. This polluted, corrupted earth will give way to something else. Something better. Something eternal. This is my hope for the earth and for those of us who truly care about it.

Marriage... slavery. Same thing.

Some wonderful strangeness has happened. It boggles the mind and disrupts the universe and resides on the ring finger of my left hand. It's not this ring that makes my brain smoke, it's more what it represents. It seems very strange to me that I'm engaged. That someone actually wants to be with me for the rest of my life baffles me. Sometimes, I don't even want to be with me for the rest of my life. I drive myself nuts.

Some people view marriage as slavery. Game over. Especially guys. But it really shouldn't be like that. Marriage should be a blessing. I know, that's a cliche, but it's true. It shouldn't be a burden to spend the rest of your life with the one you love. Sure, it won't always be rainbows and skittles. There'll be fights over dirty socks and money, but that won't happen all the time. Or it shouldn't.

It makes me sad when I see a couple who started out so happy and ended up miserable. I don't believe in divorce, but I do believe that people change. To have a happy marriage, you have to either adapt to the changes and love your spouse through it all, or it'll fail. That will never, ever apply to abuse cases as far as I'm concerned, but in a normal, non-abusive marriage, both parties should fight hard to stay together. I think that people get bored. That they feel they're missing out when they commit to one partner for the rest of their lives. But are you really missing out when you've found someone who'll love you no matter what? Even when you're at your lowest? Even when you're cranky or have crusty stuff in your eyes every morning???

Sometimes I'm scared about what the future has in store for my marriage. Will I end up as a divorce statistic? But then I think about God and what He's done for me already and I feel that everything is going to be OK. That no matter what, we'll get through whatever issues might arise and know how to work things out. So I don't see my engagement as a prison sentence. I see it as being set free from the bonds of loneliness for the rest of my life.

Hide the Scale. It's Thanksgiving.

Besides gorging ourselves, gaining 10 lbs and wanting to send our relatives to some permanent residence in Antarctica, Thanksgiving is pretty much a day for reflection. Not your actual reflection... that's altogether horrifying this time of year. No, it's a time to stop and realize that you have so much to be thankful for. Don't look at me like that. You do. You really do.

"But I'm in debt and my house burned down with my box of kittens still in it and my hair is falling out and I have chronic acne on my back!" I don't want to hear it. Even if you were just diagnosed with cancer, you still have your family. If you don't have family, then you have your friends. If you don't have friends, then there's no one to raid your fridge. There's always something to be grateful for.

Thanksgiving should be a day where we stop feeling bad for ourselves and we focus on the things that we already have. As some wise man or songwriter or drunk guy at a bar said: "It's not getting what you want, it's wanting what you've got." Too much of the time, we're not looking at what we have as blessings, but thinking that we can only be blessed by getting more. If you have some sort of dead animal on a platter and a billion sides, that alone is something to be grateful for. Because you're not starving. If you fight constantly with your family this holiday, remember that at least you have a family, and at least you were invited in the first place.

So go forth, my friends with renewed thankfulness! While you're slipping slowly into a food-induced coma, try and remember that you are blessed and loved.

Detox

I was angry. So I wrote. I ranted. Now I'm not angry anymore. And that is all I'll say.

To you, oppressor. Tyrant. Sychophant.

You judge me with your eyes and know nothing of my heart. I can do more and be more than you think. Than you've assumed.

You have eyes that do not see and ears that hear all but me. I have been dismissed. Devalued. Patronized. Pushed aside, let down.

But you do not know that I can move mountains. I can write with fire and create worlds. I can change lives. I'm more than you've made me to be. You cannot define me. You cannot contain me. You cannot supress me, damage me or belittle me.

I am strong. I am smart. I am valuable. I don't need you to prove anything. I really, really, don't.

So go back to your pedestal; the one that resides in a narrow, narrow dark cave, and leave me to be.

Karate Lesson #2: Everything's a Weapon

What good is a broom handle against an enemy? Plenty. You might be saying some smart assed thing right now like: "What are you going to do? Poke them to death?" to which I will answer with confidence: "Yes". The weapons in my style of karate started out as humble farming tools. Sticks. Scythes. Even horse bits. Why so freaking primitive? Asian swords are some of the finest in the world... so why were they were using sticks and boat oars?!

Back in the day (don't ask me for dates. Do I LOOK like a history book to you?!) the samurai decided to ban all weapons in Japan and Okinawa. As a result, people couldn't own swords anymore. They had to get creative. To arm themselves against the often corrupt samurai, ordinary people took some ordinary objects and made something extraordinary. Namely: karate. Not only did they find new functions for everyday objects, they adopted an effective fighting style when weapons weren't available. In karate, anything can be a weapon. Is it sharp? Can it bash? Even a hard cover book has sharp corners. The better to blind you with. The Okinawans were the Macgyvers of the Asian world. They made a lot out of very little.

This is the tip of a very huge karate iceberg, and I only know about Shorin Ryu really... but don't you feel at least a little more educated? Yes. Go forth and be enlightened. Also, please don't start beating people with sticks... unless they're dressed up like a samurai. :)