In kindergarten I couldn't reach the light switches in my house. I'll now take the following moment to let you laugh until that Mountain Dew you're drinking leaks out of your nose....
Yeah. That's right. You tall people don't even know. I don't mind being a meager 4'11'' now, but my God... I did in childhood. You remember when they used to force you to take class photos? They'd shuffle everyone outside in your (freakin sweet) light-up shoes onto make-shift bleachers outside. Then they would order everyone tallest to shortest. No big deal- unless you're always (and I mean ALWAYS) the shortest. Perpetually stuck in every class photo on the bottom right-hand corner, I began to feel as if the business of tallest-to-shortest was more of some sadistic value system. The tallest being the coolest (hence on the top bleacher!) and the shortest being well... the runt of the litter and decidedly, un-cool. Junior high brought on more than one smart-ass kid that would regularly play keep away or, even better, take my homework and put it on top of the lockers. They knew that the only way I was gonna get up there was a ladder and a pair of platform shoes. Good times.
Now, I think I might have a bit of a complex... but I'm willing to accept that. I over-compensate by lifting weights (which honestly confuses me because that's what a short MAN would do but whatever) and by being a rather loud individual. Hey, you gotta raise your voice when you want to be heard from all the way down here. All in all, being short isn't as bad as you normals think. I mean, I never have to worry about being taller than my boyfriend, I wont develop bad knees or back due to my current altitude, and I almost never hit my head on anything. So yeah, laugh it up you over-sized-head-bumping-have-to-bend-to-kiss-your-significant-other-freaks. You're just jealous.
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