My Thoughts on 2012

Unless you've recently decided to go the way of Obi-Wan Kenobi and become a hermit, you've heard about what we're all in store for in 2012. Just incase you missed the memo: we're all gonna die. And it's not like, some run of the mill asteroid coming to destroy us. Nope. Think of all the ways that a natural disaster could kill you. Ok good. Now think of all of it going on at once. Pleasant, no? From my understanding, that's what's going to happen in 2012. Everything. Solar flares, volcanoes, tsunamis, cannibalism, earthquakes, fires, blackouts and the stay puft marshmallow man. All of it. Just yesterday I watched some show on the Discovery Channel that was explaining our demise, step by horrifying step. Solar flares lead to blackouts, blackouts lead to riots and no more Nintendo wii. Without the wii, people start fires out of boredom and everything burns to the ground right before Yellowstone erupts in a giant cataclysmic explosion. Something like that. Then, just as I was beginning to worry that I didn't have enough money in which to build a giant underground shelter where I could live out my days eating Twinkies until the giant ash cloud clears enough to see the sun... I remembered Y2K.

Do you remember Y2K? We were going to lose all our technology in some strange computer version of a mental breakdown and all our savings, personal information, health records and precious documented Taco Bell receipts would be gone forever. Forever! So we stocked up on a years worth of Spam and lima beans and bought water purification tablets. We converted all our money into bars of gold and bought a gun in which to protect said gold (you laugh at all of this, but this is pretty much what my family did). And what happened when that ball dropped? We all closed our eyes and clenched our teeth and... confetti got in our hair. Nooo! Then we ate spam and lima beans for months and felt stupid. Fabulous.

I do believe, my friends, that the probability of December 21st, 2012 being the end of the world is no bigger than tomorrow being the end. Or March 1st. Or 50 years from now. The great thing about being a Christian is that we believe that we don't know the day or hour when it's all going to end. And that's cool. Because if I knew when it was going to happen, I'd spend a hell of a lot of time freaking out. And who needs to spend their last days in panic and fear? Not me. So, in conclusion: the movie looks like it's gonna suck, and find something valid to freak about. Something that we can do something about. Like world hunger. Or Jay Leno.